


Despair

by Litandus



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Dark, Gen, Stabbing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-06-23 17:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15611520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Litandus/pseuds/Litandus
Summary: The player has to deal with what they have become to Monika.





	Despair

I awaken to an unfamiliar landscape. My sore limbs resist movement at first. It’s some sort of major city, the buildings stretching higher than the eye can see. On my body I notice that a knife is stowed away in a sheath on my side. I have absolutely no idea where I am, yet an innate part of me is telling me I’m here for a reason. I just need to find out what.

I walk through past blocks of buildings. Wait—am I alone? This whole time I’ve been walking, I haven’t seen anyone or even any indication that anyone was ever here. Keeping this curiosity in mind, I make a more concerted effort to pick up on something. Anything.

A voice, beckoning in the distance. I move towards it in a half-run, its volume growing louder as I turn the corner to see—

“Monika?”

She’s perfectly calm and composed in her response. “Oh, hi there! I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Yeah, uh, about that… Would you have any idea where exactly we are? I kind of haven’t, well, _seen_ anyone else at all.”

“Hm? That’s really weird. Why don’t—” Something clicks in my mind. A voice is whispering in my head, telling me that the only way out is for me to kill her. _But isn’t she my…?_ , I think to myself. Yet the voice overpowers me and commands me to forget about that. Every fiber in my body is intent on ignoring its call, but the very act saps my energy.

“…come along with me, okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure,” I say, not entirely convinced that my response makes any sense.

She extends out her hand to me, a radiant smile crossing her face. Her eyes invite me to get closer to her, to link my hand with hers, to spend time with her, to do anything but what I’m being commanded to do. Nothing in her expression betrays that she would ever expect me to harm her. Yet, hardly aware of what I’m doing, I act. With one swift motion, I whip out the knife from its sheath, lunge forward towards her, and, before I can stop myself, the knife drives itself into her chest, then is drawn out, clattering to the ground.

Whatever force that had been possessing me exits my body, bringing me back to my conscious self. She stumbles, blood seeping from the entry point of the blade, then crumples. Reflexively, I catch her, her back acting like a ragdoll and her head lolling back.

“It… it hurts…” The normally confident quality in her voice fades away. My arms start to feel sore supporting her body weight since the strength in her has disappeared, leaving her to go limp.

My hands have traces of blood—her blood—on them. “W-What did I… No. This can’t be real. No. No!” My voice trembles, completely at a loss in this situation.

“I-I trusted you. Why would you…?” She looks as if she has a lump in her throat and is forced to cut herself off.

“After all the memories we made together… Like when the Literature Club all went to the beach and Sayori almost forgot how to swim? Or when I went to that chocolate store with you and they kicked us out because we kept taking all of their free samples?” She writhes in agony, wincing at the still-open wound. “Ahaha…” She tries to keep a brave face, but her laugh is labored and clearly forced.

“No. I-I don’t understand. It wasn’t my—” I stop, realizing how incredulous I’d sound if I tried to explain. I don’t even know how much longer she has _left_ , let alone how to tell her coherently.

Her face is a paler shade now, her normally slightly rouge cheeks having turned ghostly white. I try to cup my hand over her open wound, trying to apply pressure to the area but merely coating my hand with slick red blood which starts to dry and coagulate, making a mess of my sleeve.

“I’ll try to call for help!” I say, my heart beating in my throat at an unnatural pace and my palms sweating profusely. I free one hand to search through my pockets, trying to look for a phone.

“I really appreciate the offer, but… no one will come.” Even speaking has become an immense struggle for her now. She reduces her voice to a lower rasp. “After all, you didn’t see any sign of anyone here, did you? Well, neither did I.” I look again at her blood-soaked clothes and scream out of my crushing guilt.

“I-I’m so sorry. I don’t know how it ended up like this. I don’t know how it ended up like this.” I mutter the sentence to myself over and over, trying to reassure myself.

“T-The blood… it aches so much…” Her fingers are caked with dried blood. She scratches wildly at her chest to clear it away, a crazed effort to save herself. One finger slides in too deep and parts the skin at the wound, pushing into it, her whole body recoiling from the sensation.

She’s becoming increasingly faint and her breathing is becoming more ragged. “Haaaaah…” It hurts to even hear. I can’t handle it any longer.

She composes herself, seemingly for one last moment. “Ahaha… Here’s Monika’s Writing Tip of the Day! If you’ve been fatally injured, don’t sit there paralyzed by pain. Try to remember exactly how it feels so you can write something based on it later. If you survive, that is.” Her weight feels even heavier on me now.

“Thanks for listening~” she says, giving me one last grim smile before the light in her eyes extinguishes herself and she lets out her last breath.

* * *

…

What? I’m seated in some sort of booth, a gentle roar of voices surrounding me. I think I’m at some sort of convention… All I can see is black, with the pressure of a strap wrapping around my head. I remove the headset, placing it on a side table.

“What did you think?” Yuri asks me demurely.

I spin my head away from her, seeing the cheerful faces of Sayori, Natsuki, and—

“M-Monika?” This doesn’t make sense. “B-But I thought you—”

“Virtual reality is getting really immersive these days, you know? It can make you feel like you’re in the moment, especially now that it can make your mind think it’s real.” Monika winks at me.

“B-But the voice—”

“Oh, that?” Natsuki rolls her eyes. “Can’t you recognize my voice? We just all thought it’d be funny to see how you’d react if you killed Monika and had to watch as she died in your arms. I’m surprised you even listened to it in the first place.”

Sayori giggles. “You should’ve seen your face after you realized what you just did.”

“Well, that certainly wasn’t… funny…” I say, before realizing that all four girls are laughing at me.

I sigh. “Fine, maybe it was… but just a little bit!” I join along in the laughter, unable to hold a grudge at them for very long. After we tire of that, I speak up.

“Anyway, who else wants a turn?”

“Me!” Sayori says. I stand up and hand her the headset, ready to see what she makes of it. Then again, after what I went through… I think I’m ready, no matter what it could be.


End file.
